


Bitter Winds, Trembling Lips

by persopilliankore



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Alternate Universe - Historical, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Arranged Marriage, Coming In Pants, Consent, Dry Humping, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fencing, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I will add more tags as I go, Kinda, Loss of Virginity, Married Sex, Oral Sex, Rey kicks his ass and he loves her for that, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Snoke Being a Dick, Virgin Ben Solo, Virgin Rey (Star Wars)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2020-10-17 18:20:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20625458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/persopilliankore/pseuds/persopilliankore
Summary: Lady Rey Niima of House Jakku had been promised to wed the Lord of House Alderaan since the day she was born. To offer her body, mind, and soul for the hope of ending the rivalry between them.Strangely, instead of her dress tearing on her wedding night, Rey went to bed unscathed and chaste.And that's when she realized that the infamous violent man she had married may not be as merciless and she had been told.





	1. No Fairytale

**Author's Note:**

> \+ MIND THE TAGS :)  
\+ Let us pretend I understand history and marriage  
\+ Probably a lot of inaccurate stuff  
\+ Btw there is a 9 year age gap, Rey being 19 and Ben being 28

She was five when she first met him, excited when her maids had told her of a new friend coming to meet her. Hazel eyes looking up into dark ones. He was at the edge of fourteen, with limbs and ears too big for his body as he furrowed his eyebrows when he looked down at her. He had just traveled with his mother and mentor from his kingdom to come to meet his future bride for the first time, he knew she was young, but not _that_ young.

He felt bothered at that time, the thought of marrying this five years old sickening him to his stomach. Even his mentor, Snoke, had scoffed once he laid his eyes on the girl child as she giddily chased a butterfly. 

Young Benjamin remembers when she tugged the sleeves of his top, as she wished to take him to the garden and show him her cat, Beebee, maybe even to play under the hot sun. He had yanked his arm away from her fingers and sneered at her, walking back to his mentor and not noticing her for the rest of the day until his departure.

She hated him after that.

Yet, she was forced to meet him every six months. All she did when he came was chat with his mother, not even sparing him one glance. He did the same, glaring at her whenever she laughed as he fell whenever he was fencing with the soldiers. No sooner no later, she picked up the sword and fenced with the soldiers in her free time away from her studies, keen on trying to become a better fencer than Ben Solo will ever be.

Sometimes, during these visits, Lady Leia will try to encourage her son to talk to his future wife, but then shakes her head as he argues with her and stomp away to ask guidance from his mentor. Leia would find herself pitying the confused little girl in the corner, Rey Niima.

Years had passed, and Rey soon began to understand why he was visiting. He was not a 'friend' as her maids told her, he was her future husband. She didn't like that, but did her opinion matter here? Her job is to bear an heir, a mix of both houses to prevent any more lives taken, to end this quarrel. She felt relieved that once she turned thirteen, he had stopped visiting. What bothered her though, is Lady Leia's health. His mother's appearance had started to wither, pale and dark circles under her eyes as she tried to hide it with a smile. She didn't understand why he had left at first until she had heard the stories from the gossiping kitchen ladies as she hid in a dark corner.

"Haven't you heard? The lord had left Alderaan seven months ago! He had left with his mentor to the North, something about becoming a knight?"

Benjamin Solo of House Alderaan had left everything and joined a group called the _Knights of Ren_. Rey had also learned that he goes by the name_ Kylo Ren_ in the North. Rumors were spread about him on the battlefield, merciless and violent as he split his enemies in half with his sword. As time went by, Rey had started to fear her wedding day, the thought of marrying a _monster_, and a murderous _snake_, frightening her to the core. She knew she had to hide her fear, and stand up straight, since this man will become her husband, she'll have to share her bed with him and allow him to hold her even if he has blood on his hands. 

It was soon that Rey had become seventeen when he had returned from the North and decided to visit her, after all, he hadn't seen her in four years. What he had expected was the same bothersome child as years before, but what he got was a young woman with large doe eyes. She had stood straight when he faced her, looking up at him through her dark lashes as she bowed, before passing him to go and chat with his mother instead of him.

He stood there, shocked, mouth parted as he was frozen in his spot.

This was no near the child he had known. Because this time he had noticed the golden freckles on her cheeks and nose, and the hazel swirls in her eyes, her pink lips and her brown tresses tied into a strange hairstyle of three buns.

The child he remembers was now a woman. 

_ _ _

_He wasn't terrifying,_ Rey had decided when she met him when she was at the beginning of seventeen, him being twenty-six. He had changed, that was certain. This time his mentor was nowhere to be seen, which Rey felt happy for.

But what caught her eyes is his appearance. The gangly boy with large ears from a few years ago had disappeared, replacing him was a tall man with broad shoulders and an intense stare. A dark gaze with specks of whiskey in his eyes, ripe lips that may look unappealing on any other man, but looked attractive on him. Raven hair in waves, tips grazing his broad shoulders as she was tempted to run her fingers in his dark locks. She had held his gaze as she bowed, resisting a shiver as she passed him and went to greet Leia.

Maybe she won't dread her wedding after all.

_ _ _

Her nineteenth birthday was her wedding day.

She recalls the tears in queen Leia's eyes as soon as she saw Rey in her elegant gown that trailed behind her with her veil covering her face. She remembers the soft music playing in the background, and her groom standing straight with his hands clasped in front of him.

She wanted him to smile when he lifted the veil. She had wanted him to hold her hand tighter when he spoke his vows. But he didn't, he didn't even spare her one glance. 

Those things don't matter, don't they? Because this wasn't a fairytale and he was no prince charming. She is forced to marry this man and bear an heir, nothing less, nothing more.


	2. Vermillion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He likes red

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \+ ok this chapter is longer than the last one!  
\+ sexy stuff (or at least the teasing) start happening in the next chapter (chapter 3)  
\+ Please do leave comments on your opinions :)

Her wedding went fine, no one was murdered, everyone was calm and cheerful as they congratulated the new couple. The only thing that soured her mood was that Snoke was there, right beside Ben as he kept an irritated face as if he was forced to attend.

The food was a delicacy, though. Rey had to resist asking for a third plate of cake before she embarrasses herself in front of her husband.

_ Her husband. _ It feels strange for her to think of this word. Especially since her 'husband' hadn't spoken one word to her after the vows, though, she had caught him staring at her a few times. She brushed it off as nothing, why would he be so interested in her now when he wouldn't even take her hand?

She had really--  _ really  _ tried-- to hold his hand under the table, asking for maybe a little comfort as men and women bombarded her with questions and congratulations. But just as soon as her index finger stroked his thumb, he stiffened and pulled his hand away as if he had been burnt, as he placed both of his hands on his lap, tips of his ears turning red. Perhaps  _ humiliation _ .

She isn't surprised, she is from Jakku sands, poor community. Merely an insufficient orphan girl. Her parents had gotten drunk and succumbed to death in their slumber, piling shame on the Niima name. Ever since their death, a man by the name Unkar Plutt became her guardian until her marriage.  Of course Ben Solo  _ ought _ to be flustered, especially since he carries a significant imperial bloodline-- which he will be forced to merge with her outrageous one to create a successor. 

Rey still had to admit, his bloodline is quite  _ impressive _ . Starting from the infamous prodigy, Anakin Skywalker when he won the heart of Queen Padmé Amidala, to produce two siblings that led the Skywalker House for years until its ending when Luke Skywalker stepped down, decided to follow his passion of inquiring and educating children instead of becoming the leader of a House. 

Leia Organa soon built up the honorable House known all over the lands, House Alderaan. It was not many years later when she wed a man many ranks beneath her, Han Solo. Who would have known that a princess like her and a charmer like him would produce such a... _ disaster on limbs,  _ as Rey liked to call him in her head. Such rash choices he had made when he went to battle, stained his garments with lifeblood as he created a terrible name for himself.

Which makes her wonder, whom did she marry?  _ Ben Solo?  _ The boy from years before, whom she counted the moles and freckles on his face when he wasn't looking? Or  _ Kylo Ren?  _ The merciless killer of the North, with his knights of Ren, as they conquered yet another village?

A Lord of Alderaan? Or a servant of the darkness that Snoke had placed in his mind?

Either way, she hopes he won't be  _ a fool _ and underestimate her.

_ _ _

Rey remembers yesterday very well. 

She had just been getting ready for bed to wake up early for her wedding when Unkar barged in uninvited. Before she had the opportunity to react, he had forced her to sit down on a chair as he wanted to explain something of great significance to her.

He wanted to reveal the secrets of the wedding  _ night _ to her. And its  _ rules. _

_ Rules?  _ Rey didn't know there were any rules. 

She had wanted for Plutt to explain to her with reassurance, to tell her that she will not be mocked and that her husband will not leave a blemish on her. No, that was not Plutt, he had given her the ugly truth that had shaken her to her core.

_ "You shall not cry, girl! Do not show displeasure, do not scream! Do not respond to any action and let the man have you now that he owns you, you hear!?" _

_ "You will lay there and not move a muscle unless he asks you to." _

_ "You will have to do whatever he asks and allow him between your legs, girl." _

She was shaken at Unkar's words, she had been taught to never,  _ ever, allow _ anyone nor anything between her legs, to touch her maidenhood. Not even her fingers, just to protect her virgin skin, her honor. 

She wanted to ask if it will be painful, but Unkar had already begun talking.

_ "You will bleed, and it will be very unpleasant, but don't you dare show disapproval! You will allow him to mount you, bend you and have you as he wills it, you listen, girl?" _

When he left, he failed to notice the terrified girl that had started to shake in fear.

_ Bend me and have me as he wills it? _

Her dreams were plagued by clothes tearing, screams she recognized as her own, and blood staining the sheets.

_ _ _ _ _

She's trembling by the time her maids, Rose and Paige Tico, were preparing her. They clad her in a white satin nightgown that reached her ankles, tight around the hips, and her shoulders bare. They were currently adjusting her hair and face.

"You mustn't worry, ma'am, I've heard that lord Solo is very kind to his lovers." Rose beamed at Rey's reflection in the mirror, as she curled her brown tresses. That didn't make Rey feel any better, heart sinking to her stomach at the thought of  _ other women.  _ He would have to be so experienced, she'll be as graceful as an elephant balanced on a pole.

"Well  _ I've  _ heard that he had no lovers, that man is supposedly as inexperienced as you are! I'm quite certain your lips will be the first to touch his." Paige scoffed, applying light brushes of blush on Rey's cheeks.

"Don't be ridiculous, Paige. A man with a reputation like his can not be oblivious about the female anatomy. I'm quite sure that the words  _ ruthless  _ and  _ virgin  _ don't belong in the same sentence." Rose said, brushing Rey's hair over her shoulder.

"Believe what you want to believe, sister. Only our lady would ever know anyway." Paige grinned down at Rey, who was as pale as snow. Her smile faltered.

"Lady Rey? Are you all right? You look quite pale." Paige asked, and Rey shook her head.

"Is...will it be painful? The consummation? Will I be butchered as Unkar Plutt had told me?" She looked up at both of them, hands clasped together on her lap as she fiddled with the satin she wore. Rose and Paige looked at her for a long while before smiling, resuming their work.

"Maybe, at first, but you'll learn to take pleasure in it," Paige said, picking up a brush and dipping it in crimson paint. 

" _ If _ he knows how to pleasure her, that is." Rose sighed, fixing the small dips on Rey's nightgown.

_ Pleasure? _

Rey was now very confused, she recalls the kitchen women weeping when they recall their wedding nights, even Unkar told her she would not enjoy it.

"Rose, darling, that fellow is  _ Han Solo's  _ son, don't you think his father had already told him how to properly love a woman? Lady Rey will be in good hands." Paige raised an eyebrow at Rose while applying the vermillion paint on Rey's lips.

"Good  _ big  _ hands," Paige added, a giggle escaping her lips. "I've heard once that you can tell a man's size by how big his hands are, and let me say, my dear Rey, you are in for a feast." 

Rey's face looked as red as a tomato, hot as a volcano as she stood up. Rose and Paige assure her that she will be all right one more time before they escort her down the halls, to her new bedroom.

They sit her on a luxurious bed with white sheets and rose petals on top, candles lightening up the bedroom. White drapes surrounded the bed, red cushions decorated the bottom of the head post. Before Paige left the room, she leans over to Rey and whispers to her in her ear.

"I forget to mention, do try your best not to wipe the color I added on your lips -- I heard that he likes  _ red."  _ And with that, she left, closing the door behind her.

_ Red is the color of blood, too.  _ Rey thought, shivering at the thought.

Her bottom lip is quivering by the time he enters the room, walking in clad with nothing but tight black slacks and a loose white shirt that failed to cover his collar bone. He closes the door behind him and leans against it, looking down at the floor.

And this is when she notices how massive his thighs were, or how long his fingers are. Broad shoulders up as if he was cowering, dark hair neatly combed into waves and brushed against his brow. She could see the skin of the tips of his ears through his hair, and maybe she wishes if he would come a little closer so she could count the moles and freckles on his skin, not just his face.

_ That  _ thought makes her blush.

This is when she remembers that he is still refusing to acknowledge her.

She heard him audibly swallow the lump down his throat, before he furrowed his eyebrows, a crease forming in between them. He abruptly moved briskly through the chamber to the other side, where a desk stood. His arms lifted and he brought them behind his head, grasping at the top of his garment before pulling it over his head, slipping off his white shirt and throwing it on the floor. 

Rey didn't say anything, lips parted and eyes wide as her gaze raked over his very  _ shiny  _ torso. She wished she would come a little closer, trail her fingertips on his scars, trace constellations on his pale bare skin. She would've said something or maybe walked over to him, _ would've. _

She would've if she wasn't shocked at what she witnesses next.

She watched him lean over the desk, grasping the edge until his knuckles turn white. Before so quickly, so  _ swiftly,  _ he flips the desk and all the objects on the surface fall to the floor, breaking as annoyed growl tears its way out of his throat. Her perfume spill over the floor, jars of powder and others fell and broke, books becoming wet with the mix of the contents on the floor.

She cries loudly, and he finally noticed her, his dark eyes widening.

_ He didn't know she was here.  _

If she wasn't afraid before, she was most certainly  _ horrified now. This  _ was the Kylo Ren she had heard about. She wondered if she will be as broken as the shattered perfume on the floor after this night ends.  He stood there, frozen in his spot before plucking up his shirt from the floor and giving her a regretful look. His eyes softened as he fiddled with the buttons of the shirt he held.

"I...I apologize, I didn't notice your presence, m'lady." His voice was honeyed, and she shouldn't be instantly swayed but  _ she was  _ and it was scaring her. She didn't respond, eyes large as if she was watching his every move. 

A puff of air left his lips, forming a pout as he placed his shirt back on, and Rey couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. He walked over to the bed slowly as if approaching a prey, suddenly looking as if the room had dwarfed because he was in it. 

Rey shuffled away from him when he laid on the corner of the mattress, very far from her as if she was too fragile to be near. He gave her one last apologetic look before lying down, pulling the covers over them and giving her the view of his back.

She heard a shaky exhale from him as she laid down too. 

"Goodnight," And with that, no more words were spoken from him. 

Rey was flabbergasted.


	3. Morning Whisper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little wife, warm little wife, beautiful Rey, Rey, Rey, just a little closer-
> 
> Too close-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \+ Dry Humping tag- ;)  
\+ This chapter IS longer than the last one  
\+ I would love to know your opinion in the comments!  
\+ Support me at Tumblr is littlestarstarfighter (Ateles) :)

_Temptation is a horrible thing_, Ben decides the next morning. His hands clutching the sheets that covered the bulge in his pants. He hadn't had one for a while now, as celibacy was his way, as Snoke had always preferred him and his Knights of Ren to be.

_"Human desires— an excuse to copulate like animals!"_

_"The only reason to bed a woman is to produce an heir, there is no room for pleasure suited for an heir of Skywalker, Ren."_

He remembers back in the North, Snoke had caught him and the knights speaking of men, women, and desire. Curious adolescents murmuring in secret.

_"Pathetic— to have an organ of the nether region make men kill! No Knight of mine will fall into these terrible pleasures!"_

Ironically, it was Snoke who had wanted Benjamin to marry in order to produce a son he can train. All Snoke had always wanted was a pure heir from Benjamin, to make a powerful ruler a puppet. There was one thing that wasn't right though.

Before Ben had returned to Alderaan after his training, Snoke had wanted to speak to him.

Snoke had wanted him to marry Bazine Netal of The First Order, It was a bizarre thought to Benjamin. There was a drastic difference between Bazine and Rey. The latter seen as a girl child while the other was a woman with curves that promised to bear a babe. Rey was skinny and had too narrow hips the last time Ben saw her, all hard lines and soft edges that may never bear a child.

Benjamin had told him he will decide after he visits Jakku with his mother. He had expected little Rey glaring at him, her little fists clenching the fabric of her dress. But what he got is a young woman in a beige dress that adorned her slim figure. A lovely hue had colored her cheeks when his mother spoke of how beautiful she had become.

He agreed with his mother, without words of course. 

Snoke had been furious when Benjamin had told him of wanting to continue the engagement after he was swayed by the lady of Jakku. Snoke had called him foolish with an angry scowl on his scarred face.

Yet he still attended the wedding.

Ben remembers when her fingertips had grazed his hand as she asked for comfort when her people bombarded her with questions. He had gasped and pulled his hand away, not used to the smallest bit of physical affection.

He also remembers her shaking form when she saw him flip the desk and its contents. He had been angry after he had a short chat with Snoke, where his mentor had scolded him. 

_"You're no different than any other man—wanting to bed country whore from Jakku!"_ Snoke had clicked his tongue in disgust, rousing anger in his Knight of Ren. 

Ben sighed, rubbing a hand against his face as he tried to will his arousal away. The task has been proven difficult when a golden-skinned goddess is laying beside him.

He turned his head to the left, gaze falling on the bare skin of her shoulder displayed right to him. He could simply lean down and press his lips against her back, his hands could slither their way under her thin nightgown and explore he-

_Stop, you're making it worse._

He doesn't stop thinking. His eyes trace the small curve of her spine, long legs, and her hipbones. He lifted his hand, hesitant, before grazing her hip. Benjamin swallowed the lump in his throat as his big hand engulfed her hip. Hand trailing up to her waist and down her belly. His fingers weaving and tightening around the fabric there. 

Temptation surged in him as he pulled her a little too close, pressing his chest against her back. Her tresses tickled his cheek as he settled his chin atop her head.

She smelled magnificent to the point where Ben had to hold on to whatever small ounce of control he had before he ruins the poor woman. His eyes had trailed too low, watching the rise and fall of the swollen flesh on her chest. The thin nightgown she wore betrayed her and gave him the view of her smooth skin. 

He had forced his eyes away from the tempting sight, hiding his face in the pillow. Attempting and failing to calm his raging erection. He needed to get away from her, this unsuspecting _succubus_-

He felt her move, her backside slightly sliding against the front of his hips and he is ready to _scream-_

_"Hngh_ _-"_

That wasn't him.

He froze, clamped his mouth shut, eyes on the small woman in his arms. The small woman who had allowed the most delicious sound escape her pretty red lips. 

Animalistic thoughts had already started to run in the lord's head.

_Little wife, warm little wife, beautiful Rey, Rey, Rey, just a little closer-_

Treacherous thoughts, a gentle snap of his hips-

_"_ _Oh_ _-"_

That thin string of self-control thinned.

She's going to kill him.

Another gentle roll, followed by another, and another, until-

Until she began to move too. 

The thin string of self-control _snapped_.

_ _ _

Rey hadn't expected to wake up feeling warmth against her back, nor the fire that had ignited in her lower spine. She should've stood up ran as soon as she felt hot breath fanning against her shoulders, she should've-

Should've.

But she couldn't, not when she felt a strange heat surge through her. An uncomfortable tingle in her belly and between her legs. Not when she felt safe as the large hand on her belly pulled her closer and closer into a furnace of warmth.

She shouldn't have moved, she shouldn't have let out the strangest sound that had ever escaped her lips-

Too late, now that miraculous, shameful sounds are pooling out of her lips. Too late as her hips moved as if they had a mind of their own, with the gentle rocking of the body behind her. His own body moving against hers, chasing their own perfect rhythm till they find it.

One hand enveloping her while his arm bore his whole weight into the mattress for balance as he tried for a different angle, each one a little closer and better than the other.

Rey could hear his panting, breath against the shell of her ear as he hides his face in the back of her neck. His lips parted as groans vibrate from his throat. She finds herself clawing at his hand on her stomach, willing to pull him closer.

She feels his other wrapping around her, pulling her closer. One arm around her waist, the other hand gripping her thigh and assisted in her movements as she continued to rock against him. Wanton moans and gasps escaping her as she held on to his arm around her waist for dear life. 

Her other hand grasped the sheets, grinding her hips against his front, desperate for the friction she needs. He continued to thrust against her, eyes glazed over as he listened to the wonderful sounds that only made his cock thicken with interest.

He was too far gone to notice the dark stop forming in front of his pants as he continued to ground his cock against her.

Her gown was riding up, his hand on her thigh wandering mindlessly as the dress bunched up at her hips, hand gripping her bare thigh. Her heart raced at the thought of his hand, a little too close, too close to her maidenhead, where odd warm wetness began to form.

_Shameful. _

The word disappeared from her mind as soon as he grinds against her again, arms tightening around her as a curse tumbled from his lips.

_"F-fuck-"_

She feels him graze the underside of her breast as they gently moved against one another. Her back arched as she felt his plump lips pressing against the back of her neck.

_This man was her husband, no shame here._

_"M-m'Lord- Ben-" _

That was a mistake.

Because once she said his name, reality had finally clicked back. A second ago he was humping against her like an animal, and now scrambling away from her. Once he had finally reached the edge of the bed, he was hot and his pants were a little too tight.

Benjamin willed his heart to calm down as she turned around, her hazel eyes wide and glassy in confusion, cheeks rosy and hair a mess. Red lips parted and panting as she stared him down.

_Red, kissable lips._

His eyes examined her, from her bare thighs to the gown bunched up at her thighs. Her heaving chest and the blush on her cheeks, locks of her hair sticking to her neck from excretion. She scrambled to pull her dress down in embarrassment, pushing her hair back from her eyes as she gazed upon him. 

He felt a surge of embarrassment wash over him as her eyes fell on the bulge in his pants, quickly leaving the bed and running to the corner of the room. 

A quiet affair as she watched him dress in the clothes prepared for him in their wardrobe. Frantically putting on his boots and lacing his shirt and vest. Black gloves and cloak, giving her one last look of his whiskey-colored eyes before placing a helmet she knew only Kylo Ren wore.

She stared into the helmet's visor with shock, heart sinking to her stomach.

"I- I'm sorry," He spoke, his voice baritone. "Lady Rey."

And then he disappeared out the door, leaving her alone.

Rey blinked, swallowing the lump forming in her throat as she closed her eyes. She felt odd wetness in her lower region, her curious hands wandering down and lifting her gown slightly as her legs parted. She moved her hand right at her center, a gasp tearing out of her throat as her finger probed at the damp clothed region.

She couldn't help but walk to the large mirror at the corner of the room and sit on a chair. She held on to its arms for balance as she lifted her hips and spread her legs, eyes widening at the dark spot right on her clothed entrance. 

She slipped her hand down her undergarment, wincing as she felt the sensitive flesh and pulling her hand out to stare in awe at the wetness that coated her fingers.

What did he do?

_ _ _

  
it must have been ridiculous, but Rey is still a virgin after her wedding night.

_ _ _

Rey was adorned in Alderraanian jewelry, as Leia requested, as she chatted her day away with the wise woman. Like always. 

She had pushed herself to leave her room after the accident with Ben, too weak in the knees and uncomfortable the strange ache between her legs. She had cleansed herself of whatever had conspired this morning, scrubbing her skin until it had turned pink.

"How are you finding Alderaan, Rey dear?" The Lady asked, a smile tugging at her lips as she took another bite of the fancy velvet cake on her plate. Rey still hadn't touched her cake, something very rare for her to do, but she can't stomach anything. Especially when her husband had left her unsatisfied since he ran.

"Lovely, m'Lady..." Rey trailed off, biting her lip as soon as Leia lifted a groomed eyebrow at her. 

"Alright, what did my son do this time?" She sighed, a frown painted on her face. Rey's eyes widened, her jaw slacked.

How did she-

"_N-Nothing!_ Lord Solo was nothing but kind to me-"

Leia scoffed and shook her head, a smirk on her face. 

"Call him Ben, please," She smiled. "And I know my son very well, Rey."

Rey's shoulders drooped, a sigh escaping her parted lips. 

"The boy might not share many ideals as his late father, but he and Han are the least charming men I have ever met. They're both quite determined in accomplishing goals and so very much stubborn-- but I swear to you, sweet Rey, my son's heart has not hardened yet. Even after the years in the North, he still has light inside of him, like his father before him, that hardy smuggler."

Leia sighed as she mentioned her late husband. A man that passed away fighting in the North to retrieve his son, willing to bring him back home. Rumors say that he had his last breath when he earned an arrow to the heart, eyes locked with_ Kylo Ren_ one last time as he fell like all the soldiers around him. Some say that Han's death is what made _Ren_ come back to Alderaan as Ben, ready to continue his heritage.

Others say that its Kylo Ren _himself_ responsible for Han's death, and that guilt forced him back home. That was Rey's least favorite rumor, shuddering at the thought of Han's blood on Ben's hands. Especially when Han showed nothing but kindness and support to her like the father she never had.

It was no sooner that time has passed and Rey had to excuse herself. She had kissed Leia's cheeks goodbye before walking down the halls.

Everything had been fine, if only she hadn't bumped into her husband's hard chest.

_What's he doing here at this hour in the afternoon, anyway? _

She has heard that he would've been out with his mentor, or at least hunting with Hux of Arkanis, but not home, not now. 

His hands had grasped her arms to secure her from falling, her own hands against the hard planes of his chest as she looked up. Her hazel eyes meeting the mask's visor.

"Lord Benjamin." She had spoken with too much venom on her tongue, couldn't help but remember their last bitter encounter.

"Lady Rey." His voice baritone through the helmet, hands letting go of her arms as he took a step back, arms hanging awkwardly by his sides. 

Silence laced through them, and Rey wanted to scream. She had known this man for _years_, married him _yesterday_. He _rocked_ against her like an out of control animal this morning, and yet, they don't have anything to talk about?

It clicked now.

_She never really knew this man._

Who wore a mask as Kylo Ren, yet his mother claimed he was Ben Solo. 

Who is Ben Solo?

"Why are you wearing a mask?" Was the only question she blurted out, regretting it as soon as she heard his sharp intake of breath

"I do not have to answer that question."

She frowned, fists clenching up. He barely spoke more than three sentences to her for a full decade, and he won't answer her simple question?

"Ben, this morning I-" 

"I had already apologized." 

She could almost feel his embarrassment, as he turned his head, looking down. It was easier for Ben with the helmet, it would hide all the emotions his face paints. His face, red with embarrassment and shame after his actions this morning.

He could not believe that he rutted against her like a _beast_.

_Untamed, furious, demanding child-_

He had to resist a shudder as he remembered Snoke's words.

"There will be a small dinner party in a week, to welcome you in Alderaan," He said in a monotone voice. "I thought it would've been polite to...inform you." 

He looked up, before walking past her coldly. 

She stood frozen in her place for a long time before she had the courage to go back to her room.

_ _ _ 

_When will he ever acknowledge her?_

Rey had always heard of sweet kisses shared between couples before bed. Of innocent wandering hands that brought you closer to a warm body when you're asleep. Rey starved for that type of chaste physical affection, anything to shield her from the loneliness.

Except that its already midnight and her husband was not in bed yet.

She felt tears prick the corners of her eyes and she doesn't know why, nor does she bother wiping them.

A gentle click, the door opens and closes, a dark form entering the quiet room. 

He moved quietly, as if he was afraid to wake her, unknowing of her very much awake form that watched his movements. His form evident because of the moonlight that passed the thin curtains.

His cape hung, boots off, helmet placed on the table in the corner. She watched silently as he dressed in his sleeping shirt and loose breeches, taking in the outlines of his body.

The body she felt against hers hours ago.

She held her breath as he slipped into the bed, far away from her, pulling the covers on his broad body.

Rey swallowed the lump in her throat, her hand lifted, aching to touch his shoulder and force him to speak, speak to her.

"You're late." She breathed out.

His shoulders stiffened at her words, he must've thought she was asleep.

He didn't answer her, instead, she was met by the sound of his breathing as he went to sleep after what seemed like hours.

She might hate the Lord of Alderaan.

_Maybe she already does._


	4. Metallic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cruel, merciless, rough-

Rey had heard of flesh tearing and men screaming, of towns on fire and children weeping. She had heard of a sharp sword with a crimson handle as it cuts down another unsuspecting soldier. Heard of roars of the knights as their leader of Ren lead them through another village for yet more blood bath.

She had heard many things about Kylo. 

_Cruel, merciless, rough-_

She had heard murmurings of her maids as she readied for her wedding a few nights ago, their whispers of pity behind the lady's back.

_He will break her, butcher her, just you wait and see. _

_Her marriage bed will be bloodied by morning, he won't be merciful, not even to his virgin bride. _

_A man roughened in the North won't be gentle, Snoke's influence is too strong on the Organa-Solo boy. _

_You'll see, Lady Rey will soon realize,_ _ that taking her own life is much more bearable than living with Sir Ren. _

She hates those rumours.

She had always wondered if they were true.

She still does wonder.

Because when Rey woke up this morning she noticed no blood on the sheets, and she was quite sure she wasn't broken. Instead, she woke up to the rustling of garments as her husband dressed as quietly as he could.

Part of the rumors were true, like how the scars that marred his skin. But roughness? Rey didn't believe so as she watched him delicately lace his shirt and boots carefully. He ran his hand through his hair, ruffling the raven locks before he slips his hands into dark gloves as he slides into his cape. Rey watched his face carefully, her eyes betraying her and falling on his plump lips.

A curiosity quickly had formed into her mind, of how his lips would feel under hers.

Before he could place his helmet on, she haphazardly sat up from her sleeping position. He froze, gaze dropping on her nightgown clad form.

_It wouldn't be too risky to ask for one kiss, wouldn't it? _

"M'Lord, Ben." She winced, voice hoarse from sleep

He blinked confusedly at her as she pouts, wondering if he could understand what she wants. He remained frozen, helmet in the air as he held on to. Her cheeks reddened at the awkward atmosphere and silly thoughts, her eyes lowering and the tip of her tongue slipping just slightly to lick at her bottom lip. His gaze dropped to her lips and she caught him staring.

Her heart stutters and she does it again, teasingly as she wets her lips. She notices a slight blush on his cheeks and a puff of air leaving his parted lips, before he quickly puts on the helmet and runs out in a hurry.

Alone, again.

_ _ _

Rey wants to scream.

_ _ _ 

The Lady of Jakku spent her time alone for most of the day, Lady Leia nowhere to be seen. Rey sat on one of the benches in the garden, her nimble fingers stroking Beebee's fur as the feline purred in satisfaction. She watched from afar as a couple of knights sparred, carrying valor of their soldiers as they strike at one each other, grins painted on their faces.

She's quite skilled with a wooden staff, learned the skill because of secret lessons spent with the soldiers of Jakku when she was young. She hasn't touched the weapon since she was fifteen, ever since she had heard a rumor of Ben Solo's injury in battle and received a scolding from a teary-eyed Leia.

_"A Lady's place is not on the battlefield!"_

It is quite ironic, since it was Leia herself that lead the entire Resistance battalion against a threat that posed danger on her house. Leia herself once wielded a sword. But Rey knows it might've been because of Benjamin reckless decisions in the North had Leia dropped her weapons, almost given up in bringing her son back.

Rey winced as she saw one of the knights fall to the grass, a sword pressed to their neck as their attacked laughed in victory. The victorious knight had the largest grin and pearliest teeth, with brown waves of hair that grazed his brow and warm eyes that brought comfort.

The knight was no other than Poe Dameron, the perfect definition of a knight and Leia's favorite soldier.

She smiled as she watched Dameron help the knight up, patting his back. He suddenly turned his head and his gaze fell on her. Smile widening, he playfully winked at her.

Her cheeks reddened and Rey looked away embarrassed as she heard his throaty laugh cut through as he walked away with the other knights.

She suddenly heard a snort, her head snapping to the right to notice a dark-skinned boy standing a few feet away from her, a smile tugging his full lips as the knights disappeared from their sight. Rey blinked and tilted her head, gaze on the boy in brown garments. 

_ A stable boy. _

He noticed her, his eyes widening before he fell to a courtesy.

"M'Lady!" He exclaimed. 

Rey shook her head and smiled, waving at him to come and sit down beside her.

"No need for that...?"

"Finnigan! Finnigan Trooper!" His smile was bright, and it took her only a few minutes to make friends with him.

_ _ _

Rey spent a few hours chatting away with the stable boy, who turned out to be a young man with big dreams and a heart full of hope.

Just as they were about to part, a question appears in her mind.

"Dear Finnigan, have you ever, by any chance, talked with Lord Solo?" She had asked with her eyes bright, curiosity eating her away. She would beg to know more about her husband, any piece of information to get to know him more without speaking to the man.

"I- I'm not sure what I'll tell you will please you, M'Lady..." Rey blinked and smiled sweetly.

"At this point, anything about my husband will make me feel like I know him, I'll be satisfied with anything. So please, do tell me." Finn gulped, and he spoke.

_So many things._

_ _ _

_Rey married a monster. _

_ _ _

She had to blink her tears away as Paige and Rose Tico comforted her in the silence of her chambers. It was two hours before midnight, and Rey had requested their presence here after the shock she had received from Finnigan's words.

Finn had been a brand new soldier in the North, with the battalion lead by the Knights of Ren. He had seen horrors of war, of blood spilled and children crying. But what horrified him the most if the mercilessness of the leader, Kylo Ren. He had explained how it was his first mission with the Knights, the task to kill an old duke that betrayed his loyalty to Snoke. 

Finn described in full detail the way Kylo had cut down the duke with no hesitance. Finn did not forget to mention the town burning, nor the screams of its men and women. He had spoke of blood tainting Kylo's helm, of him leading the Knights with such valor it could be deemed terrifying. 

Finnigan left the North as quickly as he entered it, and became a stable boy instead.

"I...I'm wedded to a monster," Rey was shaking as a tear escaped and trailed down her cheek. "how could I dare let him touch me."

"You should not utter those words, M'Lady! The Baron of Alderaan had long changed since the North!" Paige spoke, caressing Rey's hand.

"How so?" Rey choked, wiping another tear that ran down her cheek. "Benjamin seems to always be under Snoke's influence! There is no place for change!"

"Oh my dear...the Baron you wed had disobeyed Snoke just a few months ago." Rose smiled at her.

Rey's lips parted as confusion seeped in. "But...that could not be possible! Benjamin obeys all of Snoke's wishes- I- I do not believe you." She frowned as she fiddled with her fingers.

"It _is_ true, that Snoke seems to have complete control over Lord Solo, but M'Lord really does _adore_ you to the point of disobeying his master." Paige stroked Rey's locks.

"Me...? But he barely looks into my ey-"

"He had preferred you over madame Netal of The First Order," Rose interrupted Rey, smirking slightly as amazement washes over Rey's expressions.

"Snoke had ordered him to marry Bazine and break the Jakku alliance, but I've heard that Lord Solo's eyes had taken one look at you and he chose _you_."

_You_.

By midnight, Rey's heart had been hammering in her ribcage as Ben laid on his side of their bed. She desperately wanted to know his side of the story. If there was a reason, of why the blood is on his hands, if there is a reason he had been shying away from her.

He had long drifted to sleep before she opened her mouth.

_ _ _

By next morning, Rey woke up before Benjamin. 

She turned and was met by her husband's sleeping face, almost causing her to fall off from the bed. She took the opportunity to examine his angular features, all sharp no soft edges. His strong brows to the moles that acted as constellations on his face, to full pink lips. She had wanted to feel his mouth against her own since their wedding, and she now has a chance. 

She could easily lean down and dominate his mouth if she wanted to, and he won't be roused from sleep if she was careful.

But something deep inside wanted him to initiate the kiss, to take a hold of the back of her neck and push her lips against his.

Rey sighed, pressing her thumb against her lips and brushing that thumb against the plushness of his mouth, an indirect kiss she could silently treasure. She carefully brushed an errant black lock from his face, smiling at the silkiness of his raven mane. 

Deciding she should give him a taste of his own medicine of leaving the bed cold, she untangled herself from the sheets and started to dress. She brushed her tresses and avoided the jewels for today. 

Just as she was about to leave, her eyes fell on his helmet sitting on the small table at the room's corner. She pushed her hesitance away and lifted the cold metal of his head armor, her thumb caressing the hard surface.

Before she could even stop herself, her lips found the spot of where his mouth would be if he was wearing the helm, mouth touching the cold metallic exterior. Her cheeks reddened in embarrassment as she scolded herself, placing the helmet back in its place and leaving the room as quickly as possible.

Little did she know of the dark eyes watching her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was nothing much in this chapter, but the next chapter will be a surprise ;)  
*hint hint* Rey drops the towel *cough cough* bath *wink wink* A n G s T


	5. Bare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so  
\+ ReY dRopS tHe tOweL  
\+ and alcohol // aka drunk Ben  
\+ Please comment your opinion 😊

Benjamin never thought he'll ever be so envious of an _inanimate_ object.

That damn helmet is staring into his soul in mockery since he lifted it up. His eyes were glued on the mouth piece, where her lips had been. He wondered if he would be able to taste her pink lips if he places his mouth where she had. If he would be able to feel raspberry on his own lips like the same colour she applies on her mouth.

He frowned, shaking that ridiculous thought out of his head and placing his helmet on. He walked down the corridors in search of his mentor, the man had asked to see him only a few hours ago. The Knight started to worry about what Snoke wanted now.

He had already married, so Snoke shouldn't be asking to see him for _that. _Hux of Arkanis hasn't visited for a while now, so perhaps it has nothing to do with him. He hadn't seen his Knights since they split up in the North and everyone went back to their home land, its least likely that its about them.

The Lord stopped in his tracks, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides.

Snoke no doubtfully will talk to him about his temper on the wedding night. No doubt he had heard of his student flipping the desk and scaring his bride on the night of consummation. It has been a few days since the incident, yet he was sure that Snoke won't let it go like its nothing.

Benjamin was right, because once he reached Snoke's chambers, the scolding began.

"I've heard that you make quite a racket on your wedding night a few days ago, haven't you?" Snoke's face scrunched up, eyes narrowed at his Knight. 

Benjamin kept his head hanging low, on his knees now to show his respect to his mentor. He remembers the look his father gave him when he knelt to Snoke the first time, the look of pity and awe. 

He hated that look.

"_Kylo Ren _you will remove that damned mask when I lecture you!" His voice boomed and Ben had to surpass a shiver. He swallowed a lump in his throat and removed his helm swiftly, tucking it under his arm and lifting his head to lock eyes with his teacher.

Snoke still called him _Kylo._

As if he knew that _Ren _hadn't fully disappeared from Ben Solo after the North.

"So _impetuous, careless! _Truly a _Solo,_ no thought before action!" Snoke hissed. "You are merely a _child in a mask, _you are no _Vader!" _

Ben grit his teeth at his grandfather's name slipping through Snoke's wrinkled lips.

"Animalistic, a _killing_ machine, yes...that's what you are! Only good with a sword and has no control over his emotion, pity!" Snoke bellowed.

"As glad as I am that you've killed _Ben Solo _and kept _Ren, _you'll need to suppress those emotions! Acting all impulsively won't give you a proper heir for me to train!" He glared down at his kneeling student.

"Leave, _child._"

_ _ _

A roar slipped through Kylo's lips as he smashed his helm against the stone walls hidden deep in his mother's gardens. 

_Again, again, again..._

His mask was nothing but pieces by the time he dropped it, his chest heaving up and down, eyes glazed over.

_Child in a mask._

__ _ __

Rey shivers as the cold air touched her naked skin once she slipped off her garments and sat down on the stool beside the large wooden tub filled with hot water that was brought in by maids with jugs. They offered to help, but Rey preferred her privacy.

She washed herself and allowed her scent to mix with the flowers floating in her tub. Leaning back against the wooden tub, her eyes glued to the ceiling as her thoughts drifted elsewhere.

Rey _is _a Lady, but she is still a Lady of _Jakku, _the desert lands where the poor are the majority. She was only a Lady by title, not anything else. Unkar, her guardian, never bothered to bring her a wooden tub of her own, claiming that a wet cloth would do the job. 

Her dresses would do the job, simple garments to keep her warm in the winter and cool in the summer. She would only wear elegant gowns that Leia would bring as gifts every time she visits Jakku. She would twirl and giggle in a Alderaanian gown, running through the garden and through the mud, her shoes stained and her cheeks dirty. 

Young Ben Solo would roll his eyes at the girl child of only seven years, he would even _glare _at her if she stole one glance at him.

Leia, if she noticed, would scold Ben.

Rey huffed, running the wet cloth over her skin, frowning at how Ben Solo had changed. From what she understood, she was thirteen and he was twenty-two when he left for battle in the North. It was said that he disappeared without speaking a word to his mother, Leia learning from a fellow servant that her son had left for war.

With Snoke.

Furrowing her eyebrows, Rey hated the affect Snoke has on her husband, even treating him no less than a dog when speaking to him. She could recall when she was only twelve and him twenty-one, when she watched Snoke shout at the young Lord while he hung his head, only raising an eyebrow towards her when he noticed her hazel orbs on him.

She winced mentally when an image of Snoke's hand colliding with Ben's cheek appeared in her mind, it was a bothersome memory. Ben's head snapping to the right, cheek red and the corner of his lips bruised by the time he left Jakku. She doesn't remember why Snoke abused Ben in such a way, but she remembers how her heart clenched in empathy and how darkness clouded Leia's face.

Rey pouted, knowing very well what Snoke wants from Benjamin.

an _heir._

She snorted.

He won't get an heir if he won't even have the strength to even _look _at her.

She frowned and looked down at her body in the water, tilting her head.

_Was she not desirable? _

Small breasts, the slight curve of her waist, and her long legs. Was that deemed unattractive? Rey swallowed, knowing fully well that if she isn't even seen as attractive to her own husband, she won't be able provide an heir if he refuses to gaze upon her.

It must be quite silly, but after what they both _did _that day, parted lips gasping for breath and rolling hips, Rey was starting to believe that perhaps consummation was not as bad as the whispers she had heard spoke of. He was _not _the merciless_ Kylo Ren_ when he kissed the back of her neck, or when his fingers clenched the fabric of her nightgown to keep her in place and provide pleasure for both of them.

Rey gasped when she felt a pull in her lower belly at the memory, cheeks redding when she allowed her fingers wander down to her maidenhead, fingertips stroking her outer lips. She bit her lips, closing her eyes once she found that special place in between her nether lips. 

She hated the thoughts that came to her when she rubbed up and down her clitoris, of big pale hands and pink plump lips. She imagined her hands gripped raven locks and her mouth parted as she sings a song of a different kind. She almost _cried _when her pointer finger slipped through her entrance just slightly, barely an inch.

_If he isn't willing to care for her carnal needs, she could deal with it herself._

Rey sighed and withdrew her hand away from her centre, pushing the thought away to store for later as she stood up and dried herself with a towel-

The door suddenly slammed open and closed, a very furious Benjamin stomping in, nostrils flaring. His gaze traced every inch of the room, teeth clenched before his eyes fell on her, hazel eyes wide.

He froze.

_ _ _

She was bare, only covered by the towel she was grasping to her chest.

Rey held her breath, eyes wide as she noticed his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. 

Ben was not expecting her to be here, he wouldn't have come if she was, too irritated by Snoke's words to stay with anyone. He didn't seem to care when his anger began to fade away, something boiling inside of him, hot desire climbing up his spine. 

Rey did not believe what she did next.

Her hands grip on the towel loosened, until the white fabric fell and pooled at her feet.

She was now bare as the day she was born.

His eyes were _everywhere. _

Her golden skin make his fingers twitch to hold her, the swells on her chest with perky rose coloured nipples, the taut surface of her stomach and-

His breath hitched at the sight of the downy tuft of curls below her navel, at the sight of her tanned legs. Crude images of her legs wrapped around his waist ran through his mind, his pupils dilating by the time they locked with her own eyes.

And Rey, for once, had hope, that he might run to her and pull her into his arms, and claim her the way she should be. The way a husband should love, _worship_ his wife's body. But instead, Ben Solo's face fell, and he turned-

And stormed out of the room.

_ _ _

Rey sobbed herself to sleep.

_ _ _

Rey woke up to the door opening past midnight, her cheeks tear stained and she refused to open her eyes and acknowledge her husband. But instead of the bed dipping beside her, she caught the strong scent of alcohol when the door closed.

She sat up, and what a sight to behold.

Ben Solo limping while grasping a bottle of beverage. His cheeks were red and his eyes half lidded, a small smirk forming when he noticed her in the dark.

Rey shrank into the mattress as he neared, the smell of alcohol too strong and the man too drunk to remember any action he may commit now by tomorrow morning.

What made him drink so much?

She frowned.

_He _can't be hurt! _He's _the one who left her alone! It was his fault to leave.

But all thoughts were pushed away once he came too close that she noticed his glassy eyes and wet cheeks. _Tears?_

Her eyes noticed that his helmet was nowhere to be seen, too.

_"Please."_

A hoarse voice interrupted her thoughts.

Rey looked up, eyes narrowing at him, noticing the way he licked his lips and clenched his jaw as if he's looking for the right words to use.

"_What do you want?" _Rey practically hisses at him, clenching her fists at her sides.

"_You."_

It happened in an instant, her body pinned against the mattress, the beverage bottle falling to the ground and breaking, his breath fanning against her face and-

His lips moving against hers.

Rey felt panic rise in her, this was not how her first kiss was supposed to be shared.

This kiss was too_ urgent, too hazy and hes **drunk**_ and shes _scared_.

She pushed him away.

She swallowed big gulps of air as she stared at him in shock and shook her head, his face falling and his eyes betraying his emotions.

Confused emotions, of longing and anger and _loneliness._

She swore she heard him w_himper _and he was about to stand up but she wasn't going to let him go and leave both of them broken.

She pulled him close, into their bed and covered him with the sheets. Cupping his flushed cheeks and eyes filled with confused tears, she leaned her forehead against his.

"You- you don't want me-" He hiccups and was about to scoot away from her before she wrapped her arms around his body, settling her cheek on his chest and allowed herself to listen to the soothing sound of his racing heart.

"I _want_ you, but I want more than that," She closed her eyes. "I want us to talk and understand eachother, Ben, I don't want to regret this night if it will leave us both broken in the morning."

She took a deep breath.

"You always leave." She looked up and noticed his amber eyes looking down at her.

"You won't remember what I said right now by morning anyway," She gave him a sad smile and curled up closer to him. "So please, let me be closer to you tonight without you regretting it in the morning..."

"Good night Ben."

Silence, then.

"Good night, sweetheart."


	6. Sweet Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You were alone, weren't you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \+ Ben is not a fuck up in this chapter  
\+ Next chapter is going to have some s e x y t i m e s y a y  
\+ I hope you'll enjoy

Ben Solo had never gotten that bad of a headache in his life. Until today, of course. After a night of indulging in too much alcohol and self-hatred, he isn't that surprised to wake up with a terrible throbbing in his head. 

What surprised him is that a beautiful woman is currently holding him and snoring softly against his chest.

It was a delightful surprise.

He does not remember much from yesterday, so when he woke up cuddled up against the woman he avoided talking to for an entire decade, he became worried. It was worrying, what he might've done yesterday night. He swallowed the lump in his throat and noticed that they were both fully clothed, which gave him a little hope that he did not do something stupid. 

A little hope.

No blood on the sheets, and both him and Rey were breathing. No visible bruises, and thankfully Rey wasn't missing a limb. Good, he didn't swing his sword around drunkly.

Both swords, he hoped.

He cringed at the thought of himself walking around drunkly into his room, wondering what his mother would have thought if she saw him at such a late hour.

"You were very woozy, M'Lord." A sweet voice spoke, and Benjamin's line of thought snapped. He looked down, and just now he realized how close he actually was to her. The freckles on her face, her wide eyes with golden and emerald hues, her pink lips to her rosy cheeks and tanned skin. Her tresses curled at her shoulders and brushed against her chin and bare neck. The press of her chest against his, long legs tangled up with his own, her breath fanning against his mouth. His breath hitched at her beauty. He knew she was beautiful, of course, and he knew he neglected her quite enough. 

"What did I do?" He winced at the roughness of his voice.

"You- you entered the room after midnight, holding a bottle of booze," She bit her lip and he tried not to get distracted. "and then you pushed me into the bed and-"

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" His eyes were wide with fear of the possible ugly truth.

"You- you kiss- kissed me," She stuttered. "that's all you did...we then fell asleep."

Ben's jaw worked, his hands clenching and unclenching as he searched for the correct words to use. She looked...hopeful. His thoughts were running yesterday after meeting Snoke and being driven by lust once he gazed upon golden skin, he became so overwhelmed his only solution was to indulge in beverages. It was ridiculous, him running away after seeing her bare, he was her husband and she was his wife. 

Perhaps what scared him is what he will do. He was always reminded that he breaks whatever he touches, even his words destroy the strongest of hearts, turning people he once cared for into frail glass. He had hurt his father once, the night before heading to the North. Spat curses at him, at how much of a failure Han Solo was at fathering his only son. He had once made his mother cry, once swore to kill Han Solo in front of her whenever she weeped for her traveling husband with a bounty on his head. He had always hurt people, and he knew that perhaps Han Solo's death is what brought him from the North.

It had been a shock, meeting his father in the battlefield. With smoke clouding the air and the deafening shouts of men around them, Han had dropped his sword and embraced Leia's heir. Kylo Ren had threatened to kill him if he does not leave, waving the sword to prove a point. He had pressed the sword against his father's chest as a warning.

He hadn't expected Han to hold the sword's handle with him and encourage to press harder, until the sword had impaled him.

Han Solo brought his own end.

Han Solo brought his son back.

He had stroked his son's face and mouthed a_ 'you're free'_ before falling to the floor.

Ben Solo had hurt many. 

He was frightened yesterday. Frightened of painting a bruise on her skin, frightened of making her scream just like all the people he had ended in the North. He was afraid of an heir, too. Of a child of a powerful bloodline to become a puppet in Snoke's grasp just like he did. Ben was about to open his mouth to apologize, when she lifted her hand and placed a finger against his lips.

"Don't be sorry," She turned a little red. "it was quick but it wasn't terrible...the kiss, I mean."

_Oh._ He thought._ That was unexpected._

"But, I still want to talk." Ben furrowed his eyebrows.

"I don't have the time to chat."

Rey glared at him, her nose wrinkling as her eyes narrowed. "If you have time to drunkly woo the hall with your graceful shaky knees, then you have time to have a chat with me."

Ben Solo didn't even try to argue.

_ _ _

The forest that was hidden behind the Organa-Solo manor was quiet at this time of day, an exception is the sound of boots walking atop the dried leaves that covered the forest floor. Ben raised a brow at Rey's boots, no doubt it was two sizes bigger than her own feet, obviously borrowed from the stable. He hadn't expected that she had wanted to talk in the forest of all places, or why she even wanted to talk.

He had spoken less than seven sentences to her since he met her when she was still a child.

"What do you want to talk...about?" His arms were behind him and he left his sword at home.

He feels strangely weak without the blade with the red handle, or is it just Rey that makes him so delicate?

"Everything, _anything_," She looked up at him as they passed a tree of remarkable height. "I would like to know you."

"Which part of me? Surely you have heard of _Ren_-"

"Both," She paused, her hand brushing against his forearm. "I would like to know both Kylo Ren and Ben Solo, anything to make me feel that I'm actually your wife."

He tucks his chin into his chest as he looks down at her, his jaw moving and his lips in a pout.

There's too much about Kylo to tell her, about terrible things he had done. Ben Solo was practically nonexistent only by name, son of a smuggler and a rebelling lady. What should he say? Should he speak of Snoke? Why he travelled to the North? Perhaps she wants to know why he was engaged to her? 

"All I can tell you is that Ben has died in the North," He said, voice low as if he was cautious with his words. "Kylo Ren is stronger."

She didn't seem to believe him. "I _doubt_ that," She whispered, brushing an errant lock away from her eyes. "that Ben had died, he had always seemed to be living."

_ _ _

They had their backs against a tree as they lay on the forest floor, hands on the ground and a few inches away from each other. He shouldn't, but he was admiring her as the tree leaves fell on her hair, or when she smiled as she spotted a butterfly.

"You were alone, weren't you?"

The question shocked him, his head turning to the left and almost snapping by how quick he had reacted. _How had she- _

"What?" She looks at him with sad eyes, her pinkie finger brushing against his knuckles on the forest floor.

"In the North, at war...you were feeling lonely, weren't you?" She spoke softly to him. "It wouldn't matter if you were surrounded by your knights or that you had Snoke, you must've felt lonely." She shuddered when she spoke of Snoke, frowning at the thought of him.

Ben was speechless.

His lips parted as he tried to understand this woman beside him. This woman was the girl child with a muddy dress, the blushing teen when her body had began to change, the strong lady that had fenced in hopes to become better than him one day. She somehow understood.

"You're...you're not wrong." He looked down at how close their hands are. "My mentor is...sometimes questionable with his plans and choices. He had somehow persuaded me to go battle in the North, to prove myself a man without using my bloodline as an advantage. It took me a few years to realize he had only wanted to perfect me into his own knight, to give me the duty of bringing an heir to him, for him to train."

Rey drew in a shaky breath at the thought of another child in Snoke's grasp, and she had many questions. Had he hated his father? What happened to his knights? _How_ did Snoke even come close to lurking in his mind? 

"How much do you know?" He suddenly asked her, his hand coming to engulf her own. "About me, I mean."

Rey felt her cheeks heat at the warmth of his hand covering hers, looking down and hiding a small smile. She knows a couple of things about him, she can tell him that.

"Lady Leia told me you liked reading," She bit her lip. "She would often bring me a couple of your books for me to read, it made me feel that I'm actually close to you without speaking to you."

In truth, Ben had scribbled notes at the margins of each book he had in his collections, of how he feels about each and every sentence to his favourite characters. Rey had memorized each note and brought it close to her heart to the point where she felt that she truly knew Ben Solo.

She might've _liked_ that Ben Solo.

"I also know that you really love your stallion, Chewie, because it was the only thing that you had after Han's passing." She noticed how he gazes upon that horse, stroking its brown mane lovingly.

Ben couldn't help but smile.

Rey's heart skipped a beat, _his face had brightened up with one smile_. 

She felt a little giddy that _she_ placed a grin on his face.

"Chewie had left quite an ugly scar on my side," He chuckled. "It had hurt terribly and made me limp for a few days, nonetheless, I knew I deserved it when I had attempted to saddle the beast." 

They continued on, joking with one another and sharing stories.

Ben had told her of the time he was only a child of four, running naked in the palace halls as his maids chased after him while he giddily ran to his father's arms, who had just returned from a journey. Rey spoke of the days when she had thought Plutt's paintings on the halls looked too dull, so she had painted facial hair on the burly man, which only resulted in a well-earned scolding.

He had told her of the North, of cold winters and wolves howling as the sun sets. He spoke of rough duels with his knights, which only ended in many scars and bloodied lips. She in turn spoke of the many stories she had told his mother, of the gossips of Jakku and of Plutts greedy fingers as he disapprovingly gazed upon her brand new dress Leia had brought her.

"Unkar Plutt sounds awful," Ben frowned, gazing down at Rey who had her head at his shoulder. They had moved closer to each other, now legs pressed together. "do you want me to put an end to him?" 

Rey light smacked his shoulder and puffed out a small guffaw. "Don't be silly, M'Lord, I no longer see him to feel the need to end him."

_ _ _

"Were _you_ alone?" 

At this point, half of her body was laying against his, her hands engulfed in his as she hid her face in his shoulder blade. He heard her sigh and nuzzle the silver of skin showing from his collar. 

"Yes," He felt her fingers leave his hand and tighten on his garments. "I have felt more alone than ever since I arrived on Alderaan."

She caresses his lapel before lifting her head.

"I demand a proper kiss." She furrowed her eyebrows at him and lifted her chin. He gaped at her while she drew him closer, her expression softening while she waited for his next reaction.

His hands found their way to cup her cheeks. His throat suddenly dry like the Jakku desert, lips starved to feel her mouth against his. Her hands clenched the cloth that covered his wide shoulders as she leaned closer, her lips parted. Their eyelids fluttered closed as panting breath caressed each others lips.

All Ben knows of kisses were the kisses he watched his mother giving his father, usually after an angry argument.

Rey had always had a girlish curiousity of such things, even going as far enough to kiss her pillow as practice, scolding herself afterwards.

The softness of his mouth made Rey's heart flutter. Gone was the roughness of yesterday drunk fumbling, and came the gentle caress of his mouth against him. He moved his lips against her mouth, a fiery pit forming in the depth of their racing hearts. His hand buried into the back of her neck and fingers tangled in her brown tresses, his other hand lovingly brushing against her rosy cheeks.

An accidental tug at her hair made her moan softly against his mouth, Ben taking his chance to lick at her bottom lip and his tongue to enter past her lips. Their tongues danced with one another, curious hands traveling at his shoulders and long fingers brushing her hair gently.

When they finally parted for breath, they held eye contact and silence.

"We...did more than talking." He had a ghost of smirk on when she blushed, shaking her head at his teaser.

"M'Lord I- Ah!" She was scooped up in his arms bridal style as he walked through the forest in the road to the manor.

"I will come earlier than midnight today, my lady." He spoke once he gently placed her down, her feet finally on the ground in front of their shared room. He brushed a lock of hair away from her face and kissed her forehead. 

"I have some errands to run, but I shall speak to you tonight." He promised, giving her one last kiss on the back of her hand before he made his way down the hall.

Rey was again, flabbergasted.

_This man is confusing._


	7. Embrace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And for once since he was thirteen, Ben realized his mistake and loss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \+ So...very very Angstttt  
\+ Dry humping and coming in pants taggg  
\+ So this chapter is messy, but everything will be fixed, I promise ;)

A few days pass, three days left till the dinner party.

Rey had begun to know Ben a little better, an improvement that is. Good Night kisses were now shared before bed, hands shying away. Smiles are more common and less awkward now, the occasional hair stroking in the morning. They would often wake up face to face, hands clasped in between them and a lazy 'good morning' from both of them.

It didn't take too long when he accidentally mentioned his calligraphy set before bed, and she had been too curious to go to sleep that night until she had seen it. He showed her the brushes and the ink, and she even had to opportunity to watch him write in perfect handwriting with the ink gliding through the paper. 

His hands were ones of an artist.

She spoke of Jakku's scorching sun, and the warm sands she would feel under her bare feet. He once asked her if she misses Jakku at all, and without hesitance, she responded with a definite 'no'. They would speak of Naboo and its unique beauty, a special place to Ben to be close to his grandmother's birthplace without ever meeting her.

Rey would notice his dark pools of chocolate in his eyes as he told her of Mustafar, where his grandfather's palace is. The palace's aura was one of raw power though it was now empty, surrounded by fields of lava, the route there too dangerous to travel if you're not an experienced traveler.

Rey never traveled beyond Jakku, an exception is Alderaan. 

Her eyes had widened when she found out about the many languages he was educated in, from languages of the North to as far as Yavin.

When she told Ben of her inexperience in both travel and language, he placed on a small smile and caressed the back of her hand.

"You need a teacher," He kissed her forehead. "I will teach you of the many lands and speech, you mustn't worry."

She felt warmth in her heart as she listened to his gentle words, soon knowing that maybe the Lord of Alderaan is not as terrible as he is rumoured to be.

Oh how wrong she was.

_ _ _

It had all begun with an injury.

Poe's playful mockery of Ben's sword techniques during sword practice begun a duel. Ben's uncle, Luke Skywalker being the sword man stepped aside and allowed the two to fight it out, reminding them to keep it fair.

Rey had been having a chat with Finn in the gardens when she had heard a roar of pain, she had quickly made her way to the practice grounds, fear coursing through her at the thought of Ben injured. 

It wasn't Ben.

Instead, Poe was half kneeling half standing as he clutched his shoulder, where blood seeped freely down his clothed chest. 

Ben's sword was bloodied as he got back into position, raising his chin and his eyes darkening as he waited Poe's recovery. Rey had watched in pure horror as the Resistance Knight and the Warrior of darkness duel ruthlessly, the clanking of metal and the hisses of pain were the only things she was hearing.

The end result is both men panting and bloodied, most damaged is Poe.

Ben had hit Poe right in the face with the sword's hilt, which only resulted in the addition of a bruise with all the other cuts on his face.

He had given Ben a broken smile while he limped back to the knight's rooms, Finn trailing after him to make sure he is alright.

When both Ben and Rey return to their bedroom, Ben allowed himself to collapse on his knees. Rey gasped and made her way beside him, her hand on his shoulder. She noticed a dark spot forming on his side, no doubt blood escaping his wound.

"Why didn't you-"

"I'm not going to admit defeat in front of _Dameron _of all people, Rey."

That made her clamp her mouth shut.

After a good argument, she got him out of his top to reveal his pale skin and muscled arms and she should really stop staring and get to work. 

Unkar Plutt would often be oblivious when Rey would venture out of the palace unaided. She would go out in the hot deserts and search for lost things. She would often see herself as a lost relic as well, waiting to be found. Of course, going outside alone and unprotected would result in many injuries and bruises she would have to tend to on her own to prevent from anyone finding out about her secret adventures.

It was good that she knew how to tend sword wounds.

Ben's wound ran from his side to above his navel, and Rey had to avoid looking at the dark trail of hair as she cleaned the cut up. She dabbed the blood away while he laid there on the bed, watching her every move with gaze that would make her melt from its intensity. Rey had to let a sigh of relief as she finally blinded his wound with white fabric and wiped her hand.

She hadn't expected him to stand up from the bed and cradle her head and suddenly he's kissing her-

It wasn't the gentle kisses she got used to in the past few days, instead, there was a mix of teeth, tongue, and saliva in this one. She had tried to keep up, but he seemed too frantic, mouth moving against hers as his tongue prodded hers.

His arms found their way around her waist, hers wrapped around his chiseled bare shoulders. By the time he parted his lips from hers, her mouth red and swollen with saliva coating her chin, her pupils dilated as she breathed heavily.

He pressed his nose against hers and moved his head slightly, rubbing his nose against hers. He moved forward and nuzzled her cheek, his long eyelashes fluttering against her golden skin, soft butterfly kisses pressed against her face tenderly.

"_This isn't a good idea_." He exhales a whisper against her skin, pressing a kiss to her cheek. Rey looked up, flustered and skin on fire to think properly.

"What isn't a goo- ah!" His arms gripped her tightly and lifted her from the ground with ease, Rey's legs wrapping around his torso on instinct, her dress raising up and bunched up around her hips as he pressed her against the wall.

And he's kissing her again and again and she's accepting his kisses like a drug with pure drunken desire-

His hips pinned her into the wall, delicious warmth forming in between her legs.

She felt something pressed to the apex of her thighs, warm and hard.

She cried and he groaned softly as she ground her cunt against the outline of his cock. Rey moaned and attempted to take deep breaths as she begun to grind herself against him, her hips shyly rolling against his. He kissed her and gasped into her mouth while he rocked against her surely, chasing something not so far off.

After a few more kisses and moans and groans, Ben abandoned her lips and began to trail kisses against her jaw to her ear, leaving a trail of flames on her hot skin. He kissed the shell of her ear and sucked and licked the skin of her neck, her pulse point between his lips left her gasping for _more._

She felt him pant against her neck when he tucked his head there, groaning without stop as he brushes his cock against her center, feeling her warmth and wetness against her undergarments.

Rey tugged at his hair, touched his bare chest, trying to find _anything _to hold on to before she loses control of her own body. She grips his locks hard, pulling him against her lips again and kissing him slowly and gently as she rocked against his erecting in between her thighs.

She almost _sobbed _when she felt herself slide down the wall, her legs tired and unwinding from Ben's waist. But then he pulled her closer, kissing her face from her eyelids to her brow as he slid his muscular thigh in between her legs and she-

_Cried _as he brushed against her clit, clutching him tighter and begun to softly roll her hips against his clothed leg. He prepped kisses on her neck and pulled her dress down a little to reveal her shoulders and soon he's sucking and painting bruises on her skin.

It was instant, but she soon found herself in their bed on her knees, gasping as he rocked against her so _perfectly_-

He splays his fingers on the taut clothed surface of her stomach while he moves against her, his lips kissing the back of her neck while his other hand caressed her tresses. And this was the end for them, one last grind and his pace falters, her hand clenches the sheets as she lets out a silent scream.

She could hear him saying her name, and she was sure she _sung_ his name.

He clamps his mouth on the back of her neck as he rocks against her weakly before groaning loudly, pressing his face on the sheets right beside hers. She rides wave after wave of pleasure with him, the warmth she felt pooled in between her legs, dampening her under garments. Her walls clenched on nothing, and she couldn't help but feel a little tense but sated.

It was after a while, but then Ben rose from on top of her and laid on the bed, his arm covering his eyes. Rey noticed the sweat covering them both, but she shouldn't care less, looking like a hot mess as she laid beside him and cuddled against him-

Until he moved away.

Her heart fell.

_"This was a bad idea."_

Tears were already blinding her vision by the time she sat up on her knees, and lifted her self on top of him, just where she was a few minutes ago. And he looks up at her confused-

She raises her hand and-

His head turns to the right with the force of her slap.

"You- _you can't do this to me." _She manages to choke out, and he looks at her with the imprint of her hand appearing on his cheek, his eyes darkening.

But when he notices her disheveled appearance, her shoulder bare because of _him, _marks on her neck and jaw from _him, _her hair down and a mess because of _his_ hands, and if he looks down, past the dress bunched at her hips, a damp spot right on her entrance.

Her teary eyes looked down at him, lips trembling, and that's when he noticed his mistake.

"I thought- _thought I might have actually started to learn to love you-_ and- and you do this? Make me hopeful and feel warm in your arms and then- then you say its _a bad idea?" _

She's shaking by the time moves away from him, out of the bed.

"Rey, I-"

"No, _no, no,_" She gives him a glare, and her eyes are red, lips swollen. "_I'm _the one leaving this time."

And she does, storms out with a shawl covering her and the door slamming behind her.

Ben sat on his bed, a pout forming on his lips, his pant leg had the evidence of her against him, his trousers uncomfortable. And for once since he was thirteen, he realised his mistake and loss.

The Lord of Alderaan, Benjamin Solo, cried himself to sleep that night.


	8. Scar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> welllll hi yallll  
\+ Rey mad at benny boi  
\+ fencing tag ;)  
\+ and well needed fluff

Days pass, and they spend it far apart.

Ben went back to returning to his bedroom after midnight, Rey spent her time in the gardens with Finn and the Tico sisters. They wouldn't even sleep beside one another anymore. Ben would often sleep on the uncomfortable chair at the corner of the room, and Rey would occupy the bed. Rey didn't feel sorry for him at all. She wouldn't even look at him anymore, but she was quite sure he does.

He looks at her with regret on his face and shame in his eyes.

But now, what matters is she gets ready for the party Leia is hosting today, in only a few hours.

She needs to pamper herself and look like a suitable Lady of Alderaan in front of the dukes and esquires of the kingdom. She bathed in floral scented water and scrubbed her skin clean from whatever scent Ben had left on her. These past few days had been terrible, and to make it worse, Ben's scent was all over the bedding to the point where her mind can't rest when the smell of dark chocolate and the warmth of a hearth. 

She decides that she doesn't hate him as much as she should.

When Rose and Paige come in to help her dress, she doesn't speak to them, gaze blank as she stares into the mirror while they adorned her in jewellery and rouge on her cheeks and lips. They dress her in fine fabrics and golden essence sparkled on her gown. Her hair in a neat style with a thin veil covering her face and head. She looked like the perfect definition of an Alderaanian noble woman. 

_Alderaanian_.

Rey scoffs, frowning to herself. She wasn't from here, she doesn't belong _here_.

The mountainous lands where leaders are born, where it is considered the soul of many nations. She doesn't have the polite and demanding aura of Alderaanian women, the women who will get what they want, women that will bring down nations to defend what's theirs, women like _Leia_ _Organa_.

Rey isn't Leia. 

She's of Jakku birth, her sun-kissed skin had rolled against the hot sands, her hands had helped in skinning fresh rabbits to eat when food was scarce. Jakku women fight for survival, they would kill to protect the food they gathered and the children they bought to the world. They stay out of trouble when possible, where curiosity will only lead to death.

Rey is no Alderaanian, but she looked the part in her glamorous gown. 

"You look lovely, M'Lady Solo." Paige smiled as she brushed a lock away from Rey's shoulder. Rey smiled back, but didn't say a thing.

_ _ _

When Rey made her way to the party, she got what she expected.

Rich men and women dressed in the finest fabric chatting away with glasses of wine in their grasp. They would walk up to her and introduce themselves, before paying her their congratulations and disappearing into the crowd yet again. It seems like nobody really wanted to get to know their lady. She barely knew anyone here, apart from Leia, Finn, Rose and Paige.

But Leia was busy conversing with an elegant-looking woman with violet locks, both of them deep into their conversation. Finn was nowhere to be seen, perhaps tending to something important. Rose looked like she was in an argument with a ginger haired man and Paige was enjoying a glass of wine while laughing at Poe's hearty jokes.

Benjamin was no where to be seen.

She huffed and blinked an errant tear away, furious at her heart feeling a little too empty. 

_ Lonely_.

She navigated through the crowded ballroom, suddenly too stuffy. She avoided bumping into couples dancing the night away. Rey felt a strong pang of jealousy tug at her heart, wondering if she would ever get to dance with her oh so dear husband one day. She snorts and shakes her head at the ridiculous thought.

It wasn't until less than half an hour later where Rey stood near the back entrance, has she finally heard something that might've been him. It sounded like a violent whisk of a sharp object against something solid, barely heard in the bustling and dancing of the ballroom. Rey's curiosity betrayed her and she found herself stepping out the back door into the cold evening her breath coming out in puffs as she looked for the source of the sound.

It didn't take long to notice his form in the gardens, his hand gripping the hilt of a sword as he slashed at a poor tree in pure fury.

She didn't know what she had been thinking, but she waltz into the weapon's keep and got a sword of her own, the grip of it feeling heavy in her hand as she walked over to him, just beside his hulking form a few feet away. She noticed excretion at his forehead and a wild look in his eyes, it should scare her, with the way he was using the weapon so brutally.

_This is stupid._

"En Garde." She spoke load and clear, Ben freezing at the sound of her voice. When he turned his head and met her eyes with his wide surprised ones. He looked like he wanted to say something, licking his pink lips and clenching his jaw, and Rey wanted to hear him speak, but then-

His shoulders suddenly drooped and he looked away from her, his feet suddenly the most interesting thing ever. "I don't want to injure you, m'lady." 

She kept her eyes hard when he lifted his, his lips in a pout. "I've been training for as long as you, no blood will be shed," she stood in position and lifted her sword. "a friendly duel."

He remained silent, and it might've been how determined she looked, because then his face hardened and he settled into guard, looking menacing as he lifted his sword.

_Maybe it wasn't wise_, in her state of dress, her fine fabrics often will get in the way. He doesn't seem the most comfortable either in his thick black garments that seemed to constrict many of his movements.

She couldn't help it, but then she grit her teeth and bared them as she began to circle around to his left side like a desert lioness, him slowly following her with his sword carefully positioned in front of him. His wide shoulders were tense, making him all the more larger. Traces of a faint stubble on his jaw, and she had just noticed the black circles. 

_Surely it can't be because of what happened? _

Rey shoved that errant through away and then she lunged fast, driving her weapon toward her opponent's upper half, but Ben quickly spun away with a low grunt. She might've become quite aggressive, blinded by rage as she continued to swipe at him. In quick movements, Ben finally lunged back, his sword scarping against hers as he kept on and on like a practiced swordsman.

With a quick twist to her wrist and turn of her foot, she thrusted her sword and it made contact with his shoulder. He gasped in shock and felt impact on his flesh, eyes narrowed at her and drew a deep breath before he attacked, moving hard and fighting in a flurry of strikes as Rey avoided his sword.

Rey shouted and raised her knee and kicked Ben right in the torso, making him fall into the ground and clutch his side.

She circled him and awaited as he stood up, but just before he should lift his sword-

She let out a cry and brought down the length of her sword.

It had been quick, she had barely caught the sight of dark eyes widening as her sword bisects his face. With a _thud_ he fell into his back, groaning as he stared up at her with _blood_ running down his face.

_What has she done?_

_ _ _

He was taken to their room where a doctor would see him.

Rey stood outside, rubbing her hands up and down her arms as tears welled up in her eyes.

She was stupid to challenge him in a duel, it wasn't proper and it was childish to remain so angry at him instead of talking to him. She had permanently marred his face and she feels terrible for it.

The sound of the door of their bedroom opening revealing Lady Organa-Solo and the doctor before they closed the door. The doctor dropped into a curtsy before he left. Lady Leia turned to Rey with a raised eyebrow. Rey's heart dropped.

_What if she had ended whatever alliance they had? What if he decides to annul the marriage?_

"I was enjoying apple tapestries an hour ago, I wasn't expecting to see my son's face sporting quite a scar." 

"M'lady- I-"

"Oh do not attempt to apologise, my dear, I'm not angry at you. You two were competing against each other since long ago, I should've seen that coming." She cupped Rey's cheeks and placed a kiss right on her forehead. "He's not mad by the way, he looked quite bewildered though. He has the same expression of his father when I kicked him in the bum."

Rey's eyes widened and Leia let out a soft chuckle, biding Rey goodnight and leaving to put an end to that party full of gossiping guests.

Rey lets out a choked giggle, sniffling slightly before putting her hand on the doorknob. She gathered whatever courage left in her and entered, welcomed by the warmth of the fireplace and its golden flames. She closed the door behind her, expecting Ben's dark garments thrown haphazardly around the room, but instead they were neatly folded at the table where his helmet should be sitting.

There was no helmet. _Strange_.

She looked at the man she injured laying on his side, his back to her view. He was breathing softly, shoulders rising up and down.

She took a deep breath and began unlacing her gown, cheeks redding as the dress pooled around her feet, leaving her in her undergarments. 

She used the water bowl and sponge to dab away the colour caked on her face, before undoing her hair and removing her veil. Rey then changed into her nightdress, then tiptoed to the bed and slipping through the covers.

A puff of air escaped her pink lips and caressed his bare neck, and Ben couldn't resist the shiver that ran down his spine. He clenched his jaw and closed his eyes tightly, wishing for sleep to come and take him. He felt a ghost of a touch on the base of his spine, his breath hitching when her hand laid on his back and as she buried her face in between his shoulders.

He was shirtless and it didn't help when she brushed his skin with her thumb.

"Can I...can I see you?" She asked with a murmur, but it was loud enough for him to hear. He tensed, biting his lip. He wasn't so sure he wanted to show her how badly she marked his skin, how far her sword cut him. 

He heard her sigh and just as she was turning away, he turned around, eyes closed as he lay on his side facing her. He could hear her gap and feel her hazel eyes eyeing the scar. Rey held back a sob as she traced the scar with her eyes, etched into his skin from above his brow and trailing down to his right pectoral. She hesitated before raising her hand and tracing beside it with her pointer finger, avoiding the black bandages the doctor added.

"I didn't mean- I didn't mean to go that far," She whispered.

"I was- I was angry and I just decided to take it out on you- that wasn't proper..." She sniffled, and he opened his eyes to stare down at her. "I'm sorry, I permanently scarred your face and I- I won't judge you if you decide to annul this union- or if you-"

"_No_," He spoke firmly, before biting the inside of his cheek. "I don't want to annul this- unless you want to-"

"No," She interrupted. Her hands laid on his neck, her thumb tracing his jawline as they locked eyes. 

His Adam's apple bobbed before he opened his mouth to speak. "I'm sorry too," His hands covered hers on his neck, engulfing them and caressing them. "I shouldn't have said those words right after we have indulged in...certain activities." His cheeks reddened slightly.

She looked at him through her eyelashes, her stomach fluttering with butterflies again.

"Will...will you tell me _why_ though?" She asked. "Am I- am I not pleasing? Or did you not enjoy-"

"_No_!" He blurted out before wincing. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have shouted but- no, you please me and you're very- very _beautiful_ and-" He swallowed. 

"_pretty_." Her cheeks reddened, biting her lip to stop a smile from etching on her face.

"You're also very- _very _brave and kind to me it's just-" He sighed and placed his hands on her cheek, brushing her brown locks.

"I've been told that I always break whatever I touch and I was," He closed his eyes. "_afraid_, of hurting you."

Her heart clenched as her hands moved to caress his dark locks, mouth parted in awe.

"_Who_\- who told you that?" She asked.

He took a sharp intake of breath. 

"My mentor, _Snoke_."

Her eyes narrowed and eyebrows furrowed at that man's name. 

"Rey- I...I understand if you want to end whatever we have. I won't touch you or bother you or-"

"I don't," She scoots closer to him, feeling the warmth of his skin so close to hers.

"You made me feel not...not _alone_." His hands are warm on her cheeks, his eyes so expressive.

"You're not alone."

She leaned up and brushed her lips against his cheek.

"Neither are you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hin for next chapter : Braids and Oral sex ;D


	9. Intricate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \+ It's not Ben Solo without oral sex ;)  
\+ Alderaanian braids yall

"Where did you learn to do this?" Rey asked, awe laced in her voice as Ben weaved intricate braids with her hair. 

"Alderaanian braids, my mother taught me so I could do her hair," There was a hint of playfulness in his voice. "Each braid holds a meaning."

"Oh?" She furrows her brow. "And what meaning does mine hold?"

She felt his hands still, his breath caressing the back of her neck. She tips her head as he presses chaste kisses on the nape of her neck and jaw. "This braid is what a Queen would wear on her wedding day."

She couldn't help but laugh softly, smiling at him teasingly. 

"So I'm a Queen now?"

His eyes soften, his smile gentle and heartwarming.

"Sweetheart, you're far more than that," He kisses her forehead. "you are a _goddess_."

_ _ _

Rey was _drunk _with the way his hands touched her with such gentleness.

His large hands were on her ribcage, shying away from her breasts while his lips worked on hers. They had remained in bed, trading kisses and caresses, making up for the time lost. She was cupping his face, tracing the bandage over his new scar while she nibbled on his bottom lip, his tongue finding its way into her mouth and between her teeth.

They were both still inexperienced, but they both knew they can learn together.

Learn to please each other.

His gasp turned to a groan when she started to press kisses against his jaw and neck, nibbling softly at his pale skin. It was like a playful battle, wanting to be on top and in charge. She squeaked and a breathless giggle escaped her lips when he pushed her down on the bed with his fingers tickling her sides. He smiled against her lips and swallowed her laugh, kissing her lips and caressing her hips.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and sat up, pressing kisses on his cheekbone to his ear. One of her hands reached up and her fingers wrapped around his soft dark locks, his ear poking out of the mass of thick hair. She found it endearing how the tips of his ears were red, leaning closer and kissing the shell of it. His gasp of surprise made satisfaction pool down her spine, his hands gripping her tighter when her tongue poked out of her mouth and caressed the tip of his ear.

One of his hands traveled up from her hips to her ribcage, right under her breast. She could feel his hesitance biting at him. She sucks in a deep breath and puts her other hand on his, leading him to the swelling of her chest. He audibly swallows and shyly kneads her breast over her gown, right where her nipple is. 

She feels blush creeping up her cheeks when his movements started to cause a familiar tingle between her legs, his lips pressing kisses her clothed shoulder blades. She kisses the shell of his ear again before she pulls on the lobe of his ear with her teeth, Ben's breath hitching. 

She feels bravery tugging at her when she wraps her arms around his back and whispers in his ear. 

"You...you can remove my dress."

He froze, and Rey could feel her heart ramming against her chest anxiously. She hopes she didn't ruin anything-

But then his hands start to work on the lacings on her back and she cuts those thoughts off. His hands were trembling as he worked layer and layer off of her. His eyes were on the ceiling, cheeks red and hesitant at the thought of gazing down. He had seen her bare before, when he entered the room in the midst of her finishing her bath. But this, this was _real. __She_ was just as willing as she was when she dropped the towel that day, she was willing to give this another try.

She helped him with the skirt and now she was bare. She bit her lip and cupped his face, pulling him down and now his eyes are on her skin-

"_Sweetheart-"_

The first touch of his hands on her hips made her squeak in surprise at the warmth of his skin. Lips met again and he wasn't as hesitant as before, his hands caressing and kneading her soft flesh in ways that made her whimper and moan softly into his kisses. Her hair becomes undone and her skin is flushed by the time the kiss is broken for the need of air.

They were both panting, and Rey could very much feel something warm and hard pressed against her hips. She trailed her fingers down his bare chest, over the dark bandage on his pectoral to the line of dark hair leading to his trousers. Just as the tip of her finger grazed the bulge, he chokes out and immediately took hold of her wrists to push her hands away.

She looks up at him, eyes wide and questioning. "Ben? Is- is something wrong?"

He shakes his head quickly and kisses her and Rey's doubts are shoved down. "No- no, no...It's just-" He lets out a breathless chuckle and kisses her again. "It would be far too quick."

She blinks, before realisation comes to her. 

"Oh."

He smiles at her, a shy smile.

"I mean, it's not a problem- I want to learn how to please you."

He almost chokes at her statement.

"Sweetheart, I want this to be about _you."_

She gapes at her, blush creeping up to her cheeks again and Rey just knows she looks like a tomato now.

Before she could say anything else, she was suddenly pushed down on the bed, cradled gently between the pillows as Ben wraps his fingers around her ankles and _spreads_ her open.

She gasps at the cool air of the room hitting her exposed sex, and this is when she realised she was _very _wet. His eyes were zeroed on the folds of her for far too long that her legs started to shake and her hands were about to go down and cover her-

He spared her no glance before his mouth was suddenly _on her,_ one of his hands spreading her open while the other hand held her hips down when she arched her back in shock that turned into pleasure. He kissed her mound, her toes curling when he uses his tongue to lick and suck gently on her folds.

Whimpers and moans tumbled out of her lips as he pleasured her with his mouth. The noises she was making had only made him more solid than before, a groan left him as he leans down on his stomach and presses his crotch against the mattress for relief as he continued to mouth at her entrance.

Rey's hands find their way to Benjamin's locks and grips his hair, his name and a few _please_'s left her mouth. He buries his face between her legs only deeper, humming against her pink flesh, vibrations and hot coils of pleasure licking at the base of her spine.

"_Ben-"_ She whimpers when a finger enters her, curling and hitting just the right spot with his lips wrapping around the small nub at the apex of her cunt and she's-

Her body was vibrating with pleasure and white coils of liquid under her skin. She was gasping and content when its over, her eyes meeting Ben's, who's pupils were so large it almost engulfed the amber colour. His lips and chin were wet with her wetness and she feels strange giddiness as she pulls him over her and kisses him.

He's shaking with want when her fingers dance on his skin and pull on his slacks, a shuddering exhale leaving his lips when her hand grazes his erection. He yelps in shock when his pants are shoved down and small hands were wrapping around his cock.

He hides his face in the crook of her neck when she experiments with swipes of her thumb and tugs with her hand that make him a panting, moaning mess. His hips subtly rock against her, hands gripping her shoulders as he tries to keep control of his traitorous body. She turns her head and kissed the shell of his ear.

He's shaking because of the kisses and nibbles on his neck and her hands caressing his member and suddenly he's spilling onto her stomach and biting her shoulder to muffle his groans. She smiles and kisses his cheek as he collapses beside her, his breathing erratic as he looks at her as if she's his sunshine.

He looks down at his spend on her stomach and frowns slightly, and his hands trail down to her abdomen and uses two fingers to gather some of it and abruptly shoved his fingers into her cunt. She gasps and he kisses her, his fingers caressing her.

She lets out a breathless giggle when he removes his fingers and quirks his eyebrow at her. "That was very...educational."

He grinned and her heart swelled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so  
hi  
I was gone for a few months heheh  
Sorry :D


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